Would You Like Fries with That? How About a Coke?

Today we had some errands to take care of and one of those included going right back to the mall we went to yesterday because the department store neglected to take the theft deterrent device off an outfit I bought for Emma. It was, of course, THE outfit she wanted to wear today (NOT tomorrow or next year, I was informed). So we trekked back there as a family and the girls played in the kids area while I went to fix the issue. On the way back I stopped into a popular soap and candle store to buy one scented foamy soap. Just one. Not three. Somehow this was very hard to get across to the staff. See, I only use the fancy soap at one sink in the house, due to the fact that the girls use soap like it is going out of style and I refuse to pay for fancy soap at every sink. So, I stopped in to get the one soap I needed. The floor staff was very solicitous and helpful, pointing out that there was this sale, see, and I could get THREE for the price of TWO. No, thanks, I said. But, she persisted, it's a SALE. Yes, I insisted, but I only want to spend $5. She wandered off and I went to the register. The cashier hardly wanted to ring up such a travesty of commerce and began with the same persuasion to purchase 3 soaps instead of 1. NO, I said, I don't WANT 3 soaps. But they won't go bad, she pushed. Thanks, I'm good with this. You would be getting one free!!! No, I would be paying twice as much for the ONE I want. Sheesh! When she finally got the hint, she felt compelled to show me the "cute little clutch purse" that was on sale FOR ONLY 5 DOLLARS!!!!! I. Just. Want. This. One. Soap. Nothing more. Next time maybe I'll wear one of those sandwich signs and put: The End Is Near. I Only Need One Soap! Or maybe I'll just ordered the darn thing online when there is free shipping.