I spent the afternoon on Sunday doing more cleaning (it never ends). As I was scrubbing the floor in the master bathroom, Mary woke up from her nap and started screaming. I couldn't just pick up and go get her when I was up to my elbows in Pine Sol, so she cried and I finished cleaning the bathroom. By the time I got done, she had fallen back to sleep so I moved on to the next bathroom. Then I imagined this scenario (cleaning gives your mind time to wander):
(Doorbell rings - I answer in sweats and yellow rubber cleaning gloves):
Official looking suited men - "Mrs. Saunders?"
Sweaty me: "Yes"
"We're from Social Services. We've had a complaint regarding child neglect."
"What? There must be some mistake..."
"Is this the household of... Mary Saunders?"
"Well, yes, but I..."
"She logged a complaint today."
"Mary?! Today? But that's..."
"Yes, Ma'am. I'm sorry to inform you that you must surrender your privileges to a clean bathroom."
"Bathroom? Don't you want the child?"
"I dont think so - she screams too much."
"How long do I not have a clean bathroom for?"
"About 2 years"
"Wait! I can't do this! That is too long!!!!"
"We suggest you tend to your children, before things get worse."
Yes, that is what went through my mind. I did get all of the bathrooms cleaned, the laundry done (and put away!!!), all of the bed linens changed and washed, the children bathed, the vacuuming done and dinner made. Here's how I figured the bathroom thing breaks down in this house:
6 sinks (not including the kitchen, which I also cleaned)
4 toilets
3 bathtubs to scrub
3 tile floors to wash
1 enclosed shower
Last night my freshly bathed children went to sleep on freshly cleaned sheets and blankets. When we went to sleep we laid down on clean sheets with clean towels hanging in our clean bathroom. It was a glorious thing.
Too bad it won't last.
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3 comments:
Privilege to clean a bathroom?? Have I missed something here?? Should Social services ever come to your front door to inform you that you must surrender your privileges to clean your bathrooms you are more than welcome to drive to Jackson to exercise those privileges over at my house. The upstairs guest bathroom is screaming for your company as we speak. P.
Let me just say, excellent work on the dialogue. Loved it. However, I would have guessed that some sort of insight would have been garnered from this, such as the fact that the kid could be left alone despite the screaming. Or am I being my ignorant, single, unparenting self here?
Well I am glad the voices in my head sound good in print. You must look at the content of the post- FEAR OF NEGLECTING THE CHILD. You never know when the cry is going to stop or continue, so you must answer it just in case. Or terrifying suited men will come to your door while you are cleaning.
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